i wonder how many times i’ve said that in the last year. a lot. thats a unit of measurement right? a lot. but its true. its been overwhelming. ive made some really good decisions this year. of course i can’t go without mentioning the addition of helen into my life as a driving force in my overall happiness.

i’ll start with last night. i woke up next to helen, struggled to leave her side … but eventually made my way into hollywood to play some hockey. had lunch with my fantasmic friends. headed back to the valley to help my brother in al-anon move some of his ex’s stuff out of his house. finished up with enough time to grab a shower and load up the car for a night at the Hollywood Forever Cemetery to watch …… “A Clockwork Orange“! one of my favorite movies, if not my number one. for those of you who don’t know, i named my business after the lead character’s prison number, 655321. its tattooed on my back. the movie changed my life. i was pretty naive, way sheltered and i simply did not know movies like this existed. i was pretty sure Disney was solely responsible for manufacturing all moving pictures. till i started dating my first girlfriend who was 5 years my senior and the main influence on my corruption. kinda scary to think women have that much influence on me, but its been that way all my life starting with the first woman i laid eyes on. maybe now you have an understanding as to why i shoot erotica. women. thats why its so important for me to have a good woman by my side, as some of you know, it gets really ugly when i dont. if i had seen a picture like orange when i was still involved in acting, i wouldve stayed an actor. instead i read for parts in the Goonies, which of course is a great movie, but not something i wanted to give up my teenage years to be a part of.

we were actually invited out by a good friend of mine and his girlfriend. and in turn another mutual friend and his partner came along too. so it was 6 of us, all sprawled out on blankets laid on top of the grass, eating dinner and watching the movie projected onto the side of the mausoleum. only in Hollywood would this sort of thing be acceptable. the sounds of rape reverberate off the tombstones. the woman i love cuddled up beside me. the sight of Alex beating an old man with his Droogs competes with a skyline of palm trees and moonlight. it was gorgeousity and gorgeousness all at once o my brothers. i could not be any happier. its was ridiculously fun. i couldnt stop showering Helen with affection. ive had lust for women, i’ve even loved a couple, but its taken 15 years to find someone to be in love with. helen wore this perfectly fitted tank top with no bra, per my request. and as it got chilly, she put on a thermal i picked out for her. theres something sexy about thermals (if you read this journal often you may come to realize that what i shoot doesn’t exactly coincide with what i find sexy in my personal life. i do that because i like to express that part of my sexuality with my partner alone). that tight fit that hugs all the curves. the warm temperature that keeps her cozy. and the texture that glides across my skin as i pet her. she beamed all night long. she feels right. she has no pretension. just whimsy and magic. just smiles and laughter. warmth and tenderness. her glow lights up a room. or in this case, a cemetery.

i let go a little of my strict schedule so that i could reconnect with Helen recently. and in so doing our sex life has reached another high i thought was inconceivable. shes been …