a week ago i watched “im your man” … the doc about leonard cohen. as much as i enjoy cohen’s work, it was difficult to watch most of the performers play his music as i just didnt feel they did it justice. with one exception. antony with his interpretation of “if it be your will” >

i feel completely helpless when faced with the idea of expressing the way music affects me. how can you give explanation or description to that which exists in an entirely different world than the written word. all im left to say is that im rendered virtually speechless. my first instinct is to cry. and although many times in my life ive cried over the downwards spikes my life sometimes slides toward, over the last year, i only cry when i experience something overwhelmingly beautiful. so much so that my heart swells, my physical state can no longer contain my spiritual state and im forced to speak out in the given choice of a new born infant. consuming beauty of this depth is dangerous for me as it has been the catalyst to those downward spikes. i get this feeling that ill never be able to touch as many people with my work as they have with theirs. a bit of bittersweetness. rejoice in the fact that ive been given a gift, touching pure beauty for a second and allowing it to pass through my body. melancholy as i watch it exit knowing i will never call it mine. but we never truly own anything in life. everything is ours and nothing all at once. as i recall this state of mind, i realize fully that this negatively tinged state of view is a relic of my past. something that helped to insure i would not prosper. out of fear that what i say might be as relevant as my heroes. i havent begun to scratch the surface of what i have to communicate. ive held back for years, only creating what i would hope would make me money. theres so little time. i have to leave my mark.

here are his lyrics so that you may follow along >

If it be your will
That I speak no more
And my voice be still
As it was before
I will speak no more
I shall abide until
I am spoken for
If it be your will
If it be your will
That a voice be true
From this broken hill
I will sing to you
From this broken hill
All your praises they shall ring
If it be your will
To let me sing
From this broken hill
All your praises they shall ring
If it be your will
To let me sing

If it be your will
If there is a choice
Let the rivers fill
Let the hills rejoice
Let your mercy spill
On all these burning hearts in hell
If it be your will
To make us well

And draw us near
And bind us tight
All your children here
In their rags of light
In our rags of light
All dressed to kill
And end this night
If it be your will

If it be your will.